Operation Titration


Look at this crew. Oh, what they have cost me... I have a whole zipper pouch dedicated to keeping them together. But, as of today, I have had enough. I'm not doing it anymore! 

Viibryd, you have really helped me through some rough times, but at what price? I met my $1500 deductible this year, ALL because of you! How many times in the past have I cried when the stupid insurance wasn't going to pay and I thought you wouldn't be there for me? And what about all those crazy thoughts you put into my head? Such vivid dreams that I couldn't wake up from, and when I finally did, I didn't know what was real? And if I ignored you, just once, the penalties were severe. But you know what Viibryd? Your usefulness to me has ended. I don't need you anymore! No longer will your chemistry hold sway over me. I make my own happiness! You are no longer welcome here. Be gone!

And you, Metformin... really... the things you have done to me. The stomach issues you gave me and all those times you made me hide in the bathroom until you decided my body had had enough. Unconscionable! And for what? Just to keep me from achieving my potential and taking control of my own sugars? No more! Your daily visits, first thing in the morning and again before bed, are through. We're through! Get a move on! You are nothing more to me than a page in my medical history. Now scram!

Oh, yes, Baby Aspirin, don't think I have forgotten you. How could I? I couldn't even get a script for you and you always acted like you were hot shit. You make my blood run cold! To top it off, I always had to pick up the bill. Take your scrub ass elsewhere!

Pill Cup. What to say to you? I always thought you were helping me hold it all together, when really you were making it easier for the rest of your gang to get to me! How could you? I counted on you... I don't even know what to say... Our time together has come to an end. 

Oh, Hydrochlorothiazide! You wrung me out. You drained me and left me thirsting for more. You were supposed to help keep my blood pressure down, but you just made me piss it all away. But not anymore! Just go!

And last, but not least, Lisinopril. You think you are safe in your snarkiness. *cough* *cough* You could not be more wrong. Today's sting was the result of almost a year of hard work! You are the last man standing, but do not for one second think I am not coming back for you! Just a few more months and you'll be sharing in their fate. So enjoy your time while it lasts. Winter is coming. 

*Operation Titration was approved and executed under the care and guidance of Dr. Alana Ryan. Do not try this at home. 


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