My One-Eighty

Today was valentine's day. I knew it all day and it was a good day. I got some new jewelry from a gal at work who is cutting down her collection. Livi gave me a yellow rose and some dark chocolate caramels. DJ made what is quite possibly the best popcorn in the universe and saved half a bag for me. I went to my support group tonight. I hung out with DJ at the store while he was teaching a game.  All in all, it's been a good day. Livi and Anne both reminded me to practice self love today, but as Ash points out, it is still Single Person Awareness Day. I got home, put my rose in water, ate a caramel, and stayed to cry.  I know it's dumb. I have so much. I am surrounded by wonderful people who live and appreciate me, and will be there for me in any way they can.  So, why am I still grieving? I have friends I can confide in and trust. The only shortage in my life, besides money being tight, is physical contact. I get a couple hugs from DJ a week and a couple of hours of doggo...

 Daddy died in September 2021. Dan and I split that November. Ash and I got our own place. I posted my last blog in March 2022 when I got my tattoo. It's hard to get started again. I had a flow, a rhythm, a style, and a voice. I have been struggling to remember where I was then. I finally realized that none of that matters. I was a different person two years ago. It's not about where I was then, it's about where I am now. I quit blogging because I didn't want to inadvertently turn this into a bitter, my-ex-sucks rant or an oh-woe-is-me pity party. Not saying those things didn't happen, because they did. But nobody else needed to see that. At least that's what I was telling myself. I started this blog in December 2020 after my diagnoses of lymphedema and diabetes, at the recommendation of my diabetic educator. He pointed out that it obviously helped me to write out what I'm going through and there just aren't a lot of places online where people can find s...